if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
