dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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