I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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