sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
