we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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