It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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