just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
