Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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