Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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