is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
