They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
