I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
