I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
