When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
