idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
