Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
