What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
