I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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