is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
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