the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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