And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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