One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
