What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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