There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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