i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
