It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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