Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I will be naked everywhere
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
