What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
