Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
