You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
