I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
