it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
