Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
