you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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