I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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