i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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