At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
