So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
