Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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