You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
