sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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