I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
