i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
