Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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