It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
