i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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