the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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