Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
