I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
