i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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