i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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