i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
